The Evil Fairy

Fairy, as she was now known, bitterly resented her new name or maybe the truncated version and spent years in the fairy school desperate to make her mark in the big, wide Realm once she graduated. On doing so, she left the forest where the fairies mainly dwelt to head West to the more populated towns and villages. It occurred to her that with not many other fairies around she could re-invent herself and be known once and for all as the Blue Fairy. 
She had been, to put it politely, mediocre at school. She had no head for figures or history, had an intense dislike of poetry and prose while her magic was just plain functionary. You see, Fairies have modest magical powers. Much of their natural magic is found in their aura from which fairy dust comes but they would never be as powerful as a Warlock or a creature like the Evil Queen. 
However, all Fairies are valued in the wider Realm society, regardless of how powerful they are or are not. She was relying on this when she entered a recruitment agency in one of the towns in the West.
“Fairy huh?” said the agent, a disinterested looking pixie, from behind his desk as she sat opposite him. 
“Yes.”
“We don’t have much call for fairies,” he tutted. “We tend to specialize in manual labour here you see. Fruit picking and construction. There are lots of jobs in those sectors for Trolls and such like. But there are a few niche roles that come up which suit fairies.”
“Such as?”
“Pantomime.”
“Pantomime?” she was perplexed. 
“But we are out of season so scrap that,” he picked up a parchment and began flicking through it. “There are some very specialized roles that have become available though.”
“Like?” she brightened up.
“Well…” he reddened slightly. “How prudish are you?”
“What? What do you mean?”
“You must realize that being a fairy has some characteristics that certain creatures might pay you handsomely for.”
“This sounds promising!”
“Handsomely before I take my fee…but anyway…we charge by the hour and one such creature wants a fairy for three hours this evening.”
“Who or what is this creature?” she asked.
“An Ogre,” shrugged the pixie. “He lives on the edge of the town.”
“I don’t think I have ever encountered an Ogre,” she said.
“Oh, don’t believe everything you hear about them,” he shook his head. 
“Like what?”
“That they have filthy tempers and are loud bullies. That they’re anti-social. You know it’s just tittle-tattle and gossip!”
“That’s not very nice.”
“Yes, they get a very bad press, poor chaps,” he told her. “But please don’t believe it. They’re not grumpy and they certainly are not sexual degenerates or reprobates.”
“No?”
“No!”
“I’ll do it,” she nodded keenly.
“Excellent,” the pixie leaned forward and passed her a little card. “His address details and the start time are on here.”
“What should I wear?”
The pixie regarded the Fairy in her skimpy little blue dress and stockings and half-smiled.
“Go along just as you are!”

A few hours later, the Fairy went to the address on the card the pixie had given her. It turned out to be a hovel at the end of a dark and squalid alleyway. She had certainly not experienced such surroundings during her upbringing in the forest and was rather taken aback.
After knocking on the door, it was thrown back where an Ogre stood in the doorway. He looked her up and down before licking his lips.
“Come on,” she said with great enthusiasm. “Let’s get down to business.”
“Yes, let’s!”
What went on during the next three hours in the hovel will remain a secret yet the Fairy returned to the recruitment agency the next morning, received her fee and then outright refused to take on any other work of this nature. 
“But he left a great review!” protested the pixie. “He’s a regular client and he pays well.”
“I don’t care,” she scowled at him. “I am not doing any of that stuff again! Three hours was quite enough.”
“I thought he wanted you for general housework?” the pixie scratched his head. “You know those Ogres, they are not the cleanest or particularly house proud. I expected him to ask you to do some dusting or his laundry. You know washing his clothes and pegging them out to dry?”
“Oh, there was definitely some pegging involved,” she said bitterly. “But not again.”
“Right fine,” the pixie sighed prior to flicking through his files. “What else have I got for you? Let me see. Oh, hang on, we have an Orc who wants a fairy for this evening…oh no…he stipulates the fairy must be magenta.”
“Magenta? You’re kidding me?”
“I suppose using some cosmetics you could paint yourself magenta?”
“You want me to magenta-up? I am the Blue Fairy!”
“Okay, okay, sorry I suggested it,” he continued searching in his files. “Ooh, this looks good!”
“Go on!”
“Tooth Fairy!”
“What now?”
“Yes,” he relaxed back in his seat. “You have to attend an address and leave some money under the pillow of a child in exchange for one of their teeth.”
“How strange?”
“Yes I know and I am not sure what the margins or business model is for such employment but you’d be perfect.”
“I would?”
“Fairy?”
“Oh yes, but I don’t have to be a specific colour do I? Like magenta or anything?”
“No,” he beamed. “Also, there’s no training or expertise involved. Just follow a script and off you go.”
“Okay, I will take it.”
That evening the Fairy headed out into the night with the address details of her first client. They resided in a smart looking house in the north of the town. She had been given instructions to head to the unlit window on the top floor of the house. She flew up there and spotted the window was shut. She smiled to herself before sprinkling dust on the window sill so that the window slid upwards so she could access the bedroom. 
It was in shadows but the light from the full moon above ensured she could make things out well. In the corner of the room was a little boy, sleeping soundly in his bed. The Fairy hovered towards him, her wings emitting a low hum that didn’t stir him. Gently lifting the pillow his head was on, to her disappointment, there was nothing underneath the pillow. From the instructions the pixie had given her, she had been expecting to see a tooth which she was meant to exchange for a gold coin. 
“Damn it!” she hissed. 
Unsure of what to do now, she replaced the pillow and looked down at the little boy. Holding his nose between her thumb and forefinger, she opened his mouth without him waking up so that she could examine the inside of his mouth. There were no gaps. She released the pinch on his nose and stood back thoughtfully. The little boy she decided must not have lost his tooth yet. 
Not wanting to leave empty handed, she resolved to take one out. She pinched the nose of the little boy again so that his mouth re-opened. She hurriedly sprinkled her fairy dust into his mouth before shaking him by the jaw. No tooth dropped out but his teeth were now gleaming. 
Frustrated that her magic dust hadn’t done what she desired, the fairy stared around the room for something to help. Nothing presented itself. In desperation she flew out of the bedroom via the open window to search the local vicinity. In the garden of the house she found a little tool shed which she got into via the door using her little magic wand.

“You pulled out the wrong tooth using pliers,” the pixie sighed the next day in his office. “The one that was loose was the incisor on the bottom left. You pulled out one on the right and cracked another in the process!”
“I am sorry,” she shrugged. “I expected the tooth to be under the pillow and it wasn’t!”
“They must have called for you prematurely!”
“How was I meant to know that?” cried the Fairy. “I thought my job was all about stealth and the element of surprise?”
“Tell me you didn’t leave the money under his pillow?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Wasn’t that the plan?”
“Not once the tooth was absent from under the pillow!” the pixie held his forehead. “Pay on delivery! Instead you had to do excessive work with this amateur dentistry!”
“Maybe they can take the gold coin as compensation?”
“No, it turns out that’s a bonus!” the pixie exclaimed. “They are refusing to pay for our services! So we’ve come out of this with nothing.”
“I am sorry!” the Fairy looked at the floor. “Give me another chance and I will pay you back!”
“Hmm…I suppose I could,” he shuffled his parchments before rapidly flicking through them and scanning the contents. “His parents did say that, before the blood curdling screams as you removed his tooth, they would not have guessed you were in the house which shows how quiet you were. You might have potential as a decent tooth fairy.”
“Yes,” the Fairy nodded. “They didn’t give me any help to get in. I had to do that all by myself.”
“Yes, I guess that does you credit,” he said before his flicking stopped. “And you sure you won’t go and see the Ogre again?”
“Certainly not.”
“Okay well then, I have another tooth fairy gig for you. Tonight.”

The Fairy found the correct address of the family wanting her services. They resided in a village just outside the town. She had been instructed to go into the back garden of the cottage where there would be one window on the left of the property containing a little girl hopefully asleep. She flew up to it. The curtains were drawn but seeing that the lights inside were off, she decided it must be the correct room. Scattering her magic dust on the window sill, she was surprised to see nothing happen. It remained shut.
Reaching for her wand, she waved that across the window but still it did not budge.
She tried more magic dust which resulted in nothing. Looking about the garden, she hoped she might see something of use. 

“So the parents were pleased that their daughter awoke to find a gold coin under her pillow,” the pixie told the Fairy the next morning.
“Great!”
“But they were less enthusiastic to discover that her bedroom window had been smashed in using a garden gnome.”
“I was lucky that the curtains muffled the sound of it so that I could get in and do the switch,” said the Fairy. 
“I thought you used magic to get in without criminal damage being necessary?” the pixie asked irritably. 
“Yes,” she frowned. “For some reason none of it worked.”
“Oh, great.”
“Did they pay?”
“No, they refused, citing the window glazing bill.”
“Oh…” her face fell. “One more chance?”
“I think not,” he shook his head apologetically. “But I have another idea for you. Have you ever thought of going into the entertainment industry?”
“If this is your cunning way of setting me up with the Ogre again you can forget it!”
“Oh no…although?”
“No!”
“Okay then fine, just checking!” he cleared his throat. “No, when I said entertainment I probably should have said show business!”
“I thought you said it isn’t pantomime season?”
“No, not that. Circus.”
“Circus? What, like a traveling circus?”
“Well sort of…” he said before hastily adding. “More like a carnival?”
“Carnival?”
“Yes, it’s an old fashioned type of amusement if you like? Several acts tour the Realm to the delight of all who pay to enjoy it.”
“What sort of acts?” the Fairy was curious.
“Oh, you know, dancers, trapeze artists…”
“Sounds fun!”
“A lion tamer, clowns, a bearded lady, a freak show…”
“That doesn’t sound very…contemporary?”
“Oh, it is fine!” said the pixie. “All good old fashioned fun. Who doesn’t like laughing at a transgender creature wearing a dress with a foot long beard? Who can’t be fascinated by a naked dwarf in a cage?”
“That sounds horrendous?” the Fairy was astonished. “And where would I fit into all this?”
“Oh, a fairy performing low level magic tricks? Probably in a sideshow act in the big top! Or the central attraction in the freak show? Up for it?”
“No!”

The Fairy was downhearted as she left the recruitment agency. Life in the real world, away from the forest and the far more gentle fairies, was complicated. It was also puzzling as to what had happened to her magical powers. They’d been weak during the first night as a tooth fairy and non-existent the second. 
It was clear to her that she couldn’t possibly survive outside the forest without her powers. 
As she walked the streets of the town, she suddenly noticed a poster pasted to the screen of a public latrine. 

“So what’s the problem?” the doctor asked as he looked the Fairy up and down in his surgery.
He was a peculiar looking man, middle aged with hairy ears and a genial but slightly creepy air. On his posters he proclaimed to be an expert in the physiology of pixies, gnomes and fairies.
“My magic isn’t working,” the Fairy was solemn. 
“Oh I see,” he nodded sympathetically. “That must be terrible for you. To a fairy, magic is essential. Losing it would be like me losing a limb.”
“Yes, exactly.”
“Or my penis.”
“What?”
“I will have to investigate this…I mean you…thoroughly and rigorously. We will get to the bottom of this, I assure you.”
“Oh thank you!”
“Now just hop on the couch and take off your clothes!” he said cheerfully. 
The doctor pulled the curtain closed as he began putting a pair of rubber gloves on his hands. 
“What will this entail?” she asked.
“I just need to do a full examination of you to understand what is going on here,” he explained. “Now, diet…how is your appetite?”
“Just as normal.”
“And have you been sleeping properly?”
“Yes.”
“How much sexual intercourse are you having?”
“I’m sorry?!”
“Now I need to check your pulse.”
“Okay doctor…is my pulse there?”
“There’s a bit of a divided opinion about that in my profession. Now clench! Hold your breath for one…two…three…four…five…and stop. Now, time for an anal investigation. Please touch your toes.”
“Okay, like this.”
“To the right a bit…perfect!”
“Shouldn’t you use lubricant for this?”
“Do you want me to? Oh, too late now! Excellent, now do me!”

Ten minutes later the doctor sat in his chair smoking a cigar and drinking brandy from a crystal tumbler.
The Fairy had dressed and was sitting opposite him looking hopeful.
“Interesting case,” he said. 
“Yes?”
“So how long have you been away from the forest?” he inquired.
“A few days.”
“A few days? Well that is it then!” he poured himself another brandy. “Don’t you see? You fairies derive your power from the forest! Once you move away from it, your magical aura begins to weaken. That is why you don’t see many fairies away from their natural habitat. The same applies to pixies and gnomes to some extent.”
“I see,” her brows knitted. “But then, if it was that simple, did we need to go through all that behind the curtain just now.”
“I had to be sure!” he declared. 
“But you would have known the answer just by asking a few questions when I first came in?”
“I suppose so yes,” he began removing the rubber gloves after smelling them for a moment. “Funny thing the medical profession!”

The Fairy resigned herself to returning to the forest so she could regain her magical aura. It bothered her because she knew she would not be able to call herself the Blue Fairy back with the others and this would only hamper her as she tried establishing herself in the Realm.
However, it did occur to her that the Realm beyond the forest was a preposterous and dangerous place with strange creatures and perverse customs. The forest she understood and, assuming she grew more powerful the longer she stayed there, perhaps she could rise to prominence there.
She reached the centre of the forest and felt refreshed. Indeed, her aura was strengthening already. 
Suddenly, from the undergrowth hovered the Blue Fairy and the Magenta Fairy.
“Hey!” they both cooed. “It’s her…whatshername?”
The Fairy’s heart sank.